aren’t cowards, they’re brave in a dark way. And yeah, it sucks. But it doesn't comfort me. Positive, hyped, friendly. Just kind of existing. How did I go from that happy little 5 year old to this. I tried everything. Not because I’m sad but because I just wanted to see what it’d feel like. It’s supposed to be empowering but me choosing not to have kids means I don’t have that reason to live. After coming up with no names I knew I was doing the right choice and it would hurt nobody. And it’s just me playing scenarios about how I’d leave this world. There’s 4 so far. I don’t want to socialize. Things just aren’t as exciting. I just want to lock myself in my room and not talk to anyone or think about anything. Suicide is a word that often has a negative connotation. I just don’t want to live. If after a suicide attempt you feel guilt, it may be justified. I hate myself so much everyday. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. You tell me to try. I’m not afraid of dying anymore. People who can put a gun to their head, swallow pills, slit their wrist etc. I’ll be okay. Another regret I have to live with. I love my mom and my sister. Can you feel it? I feel lost inside myself. I’m okay. I just wanna stop feeling. I can’t live anymore. White pills I can't see a future anymore. save hide report. Maybe it comforts people that I don't have the courage to kill myself. Life is short, why prevent the inevitable. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends. But I guess I am not good enough because I am still here. Don’t let a small bump in the road be the end of your journey. It’s a despicable word to say. I’m also too pussy to do it ( I think), I have lots of thoughts about how to do it, perhaps I will try to mark myself when having those thoughts, to feel something tangible instead of more wasted thoughts I’m never going to act on. As I tied the noose I thought about who would miss me? So I think I kind of get what you mean I guess? because he is an ex marine suffering with ptsd, the police were called and he was handcuffed and thrown in a cell because "he is dangerous coz he was a soldier" !!!! People who commit suicide don’t want to end their lives they simply want to end the pain and go home. Suicide is just getting the pain and passing it on to someone else. When someone commits suicide, most of his acquaintances are afflicted with guilt in addition to grief. And it’s just me playing scenarios about how I’d leave this world. I left completely unharmed after failing but the thoughts didn't go away. Treating someone so badly that they want to end their life. That’s what we’ve been waiting for, the quiet comfort. We cut and kill flowers because we think they are beautiful. I can’t leave her with my unstable (drunk) mother. Scratched wrist A suicide note: It’s hard to wake up and smell the roses when the roses are wilted and you never want to wake up. 8. comment. You tell me to try. Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love, but generally they take care not to succeed. The days have been kind of gray to be honest. Most of the time I wish I was dead. I don’t know what word to use in English… it’s horrifying that a human can be in this condition. A hell? I want to want to live for my own sake. How much pain would it be. Sep 29, 2010 #1. Roped tied 6. I just don’t want to live. Not be that one person that no one remembers was there. The dead weight of your legs from the sleeping pills, the dizziness from the alcohol, the soft throbbing of your pulse as blood is being pumped out of your wrists? Just about the dumbest response if you ask me. It's these injustices that make people worse. I do. We live by love, hate or dream. How can you cry for someone you don’t even know? Sometimes, I wonder, is there a heaven? Yeah this is a little dramatic but I can’t really be honest anywhere else can I? I have such an amazing support system but it just sucks that at the end of the day, at the end of the night, the last thing I think about is how much I just don’t want to be here anymore. But who’s going to be there for me? How easy it’d be. I'm so tired. Don't tell me it is what it isn't. I just need to vent. Because if it was to just go through life feeling the way I do, they I don’t wanna be here. Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings; I don't wanna be here. I don’t want to be here anymore. I resist the urge to die every day. I want them all to go away. I don’t want to actively kill myself. I don’t see the point anymore. Submitted by: Alysia. Everything feels kinda fake rn. I’m always faking a smile. 16. But how did I turn to aggressive, suicidal? Also Kitty, it's what's in your mind that matters. The outside is just an illusion. I always care and get hurt. I'm not sure if I even wanna be here for the future anymore. I do. But I just don’t want to see anyone. Because if it was to just go through life feeling the way I do, they I don’t wanna be here. Much easier if it was me who went away. very true, a friend of mine tried to take his own life, he was swimming towards france at night. I remember being 5. But I’ve just thought about grabbing the knife and just locking myself in my room and just cut myself until I bleed out. I’m just a little worried though cause I can’t stop imagining scenarios on how I’d want to die. She is upset I’m never okay. If you haven’t noticed the scars on my wrists, or the fake smile on my lips, or the forced laugh that I’ve adopted, or the way I don’t care about the things I used to love, then don’t you dare stand at my grave and cry. I have always had sucidal thoughts but I’m always too scared to act upon them but something has happened in my life, a family issue and I really want to act upon it. She is suicidal The only thing that’s keeping me alive is my little sister. The only reason I were sweaters is because of my cuts. I tried talking to adults and they sent me to a mental hospital to help to but it only made it worse. People who commit suicide are just fallen angels that want to go home. So today I found r/suicidewatch. I just want to close my eyes and let that be it. I cut myself not because I want to, but because I have to – I have to cover up the emotional pain by the physical pain. I’ll find out. Don’t worry though. Was there ever one? I feel very similar. Always thinking about it, but never doing it. More posts from the SuicideWatch community, Press J to jump to the feed. Lose all of them, then life has no meaning. Sad. You have that feeling that you're not where you want or should be in life. I promise. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. We have created suicidal test for those who are thinking about suicide due to psychological pain and depression. I just want to be alone. After all, my life is worthless. That way I most likely would've developed some social skills and actually have friends. I’ll tell you what’s cowardly. Being alive, but not really living. Fake smile About Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy. The beauty of dying. Not just for theirs. I think about how I’d do it. Sep 29, 2010 #1. We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire. But I don’t know who to turn to. So, I feel like I might be giving up soon. The thoughts are the worst they've ever been.

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